An old journal entry

I was just reading through an old journal i had to keep for english writing, its dated 5/5/05. I thought it was interesting, so i typed it out... and posted it here.

"It seems that everything in life has to adhere to some sort of law of dualities. There always has to be a blanace, a struggle between two opposing forces.

There is always a consequence for an action. The bigger the action, the bigger the consequence.

Its as if some froce is puilling us back to an equillibirum. The only way to improve, or make your life bad is by changing the point of equillibirum where your life always goes back to.

I will always be me. I will always have the same voice inside of my head, seperate from who I appear to be, but still a very important part of me.

It will always tell me what to do. it will always tell me what to ask, what to think. Is this voice controlling me? or is it just influencing me?

I am compliacted. A web of contradictions and emotions. A mess of human sense. I am only together on the outside because my mess is at equillibirum.

I am deep. Sometimes I want to ask and know everything. Other times I only want to enter a world of bliss through animalistic lust.

Emotions are what keeps us human. And impulse is what keeps us animals. We can only achieve the status of "beings" through the elminiation of both these factors in Life. I dont want to be a machine.

I want to be the mess of emotions and contradictions. For out of that mess, something beautiful arises. That something is human."